PS. Anything I squeeze out my cunt’s gotta fend for itself. I mean it–that last tampon is on its own!
PPS. Unless I squeeze out puppies. I will fend for puppies.
PPPS. Speaking of, I’m going to squeeze my puppy now, and pretend I didn’t just read about dying hamsters and baby chicks. *weeping*
I once killed an entire fish tank worth of tropical water magic. I was very young and was convinced that all the bubbles coming out of the filter meant that it was broken, so I “fixed” it by pinching the hose. Unfortunately, those bubbles were made of the oxygen that I later discovered fish need to breathe.
my friend has a bad streak with pets. he had a hermit crab whose dead body fell out of its shell when he held it up to show it off. he and his family forgot they put their dead hamster in the freezer for about ten years to bury it later in the spring. then, he asked me to take care of chinchilla while he was on vacation and she died a day or so later. but jeez, you’re horrible.
Back in undergrad one of my dorm neighbors asked me to look after her fish while she visited her parents for the weekend. She left me the tank with the fish in it, and fish food. I looked at the food’s label, and those things were *snacks*. They weren’t a balanced diet. So, I went to the local supermarket and got some complete-diet-type fish food for that kind of fish. The fish didn’t touch that stuff and just ate his snacks instead. How that junk food junkie stayed alive with his eating habits, I don’t know (maybe the snacks were a balanced diet after all?). At any rate, when the owner got back she was happy with the fish and (after my “these are snacks! he needs a balanced diet!” mini-rant) pleasantly surprised that I got more food for him.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh man. The last sentence of your comment should be read out loud in every sex ed class in the country.
This is so sad, Julia!
Sincerely,
Mari
PS. Anything I squeeze out my cunt’s gotta fend for itself. I mean it–that last tampon is on its own!
PPS. Unless I squeeze out puppies. I will fend for puppies.
PPPS. Speaking of, I’m going to squeeze my puppy now, and pretend I didn’t just read about dying hamsters and baby chicks. *weeping*
I found a typo!!! Not in your cunt, though…. Ank is supposed to be And, right? Not to put a damper on your stories…
worrd Julua xD
next time someone wants to correct a typo, please let me know where in the comic it is, and do so with 100% less references to my vagina. thanks.
I once killed an entire fish tank worth of tropical water magic. I was very young and was convinced that all the bubbles coming out of the filter meant that it was broken, so I “fixed” it by pinching the hose. Unfortunately, those bubbles were made of the oxygen that I later discovered fish need to breathe.
I put it to you that you only found out Buff was dead because you wanted to use him as a terrible live victim in your game of mouse trap.
“If you can’t tell the difference between something you squeeze out of your cunt and something you buy at Home Depot…”
You obviously haven’t been to that website where…well, I’ve said too much.
my friend has a bad streak with pets. he had a hermit crab whose dead body fell out of its shell when he held it up to show it off. he and his family forgot they put their dead hamster in the freezer for about ten years to bury it later in the spring. then, he asked me to take care of chinchilla while he was on vacation and she died a day or so later. but jeez, you’re horrible.
Less of a downer:
Back in undergrad one of my dorm neighbors asked me to look after her fish while she visited her parents for the weekend. She left me the tank with the fish in it, and fish food. I looked at the food’s label, and those things were *snacks*. They weren’t a balanced diet. So, I went to the local supermarket and got some complete-diet-type fish food for that kind of fish. The fish didn’t touch that stuff and just ate his snacks instead. How that junk food junkie stayed alive with his eating habits, I don’t know (maybe the snacks were a balanced diet after all?). At any rate, when the owner got back she was happy with the fish and (after my “these are snacks! he needs a balanced diet!” mini-rant) pleasantly surprised that I got more food for him.