It’d be weird if I ignored the hurricane stuff so worry not, I shall bore you with doodles and photos of its disappointment later this week. For now, here’s a comic I made awhile ago but I’m still upset about it and probably always will be. I mean, COME ON, why aren’t these a thing? and don’t give me that sweatpants/maternity/elastic waistband jargon, I want normal pants that allow me to overeat without being obscene about it half way through dinner. I’m not asking for a pony, or something insane like wishing that Candy Land was a real, live game, I’m just asking for some comfortable, fashionable dinner wear that discreetly adapts to and conceals my gluttony. This is why I live alone and am really into “house pants” which is a fancy way to say pajamas. Although I did once accidentally buy a pair of maternity pants and you should have seen the look of unfettered glee on Sarah’s face when I told her. And yeah, for the most part I wear normal pants but I always resent it just a little.
oh, ps: I didn’t update anything while on my road trip because as soon as I got away from the internet I was like “I hate the internet forever!!!” I mean, really, have you gone on a trip without any kind of internet lately? it’s THE BEST. It makes you realize how completely and delightfully pointless most of it is and that you really can do fine, if not better, without it. However, that said, I did tweet a few times when I got to motels with a signal but not often since Jen was making me sing this song about tweeting every time I did it and I was starting to really irritate myself by singing it and I don’t need to be telling you about this part. Anyways, I won’t be making any comics online about the trip but you can peruse a flickr set about it and let it give you cabin fever if you like torturing yourself at work. haha I’m a dick.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
finally comic
I would totally buy several pairs of said pants. Or at least a belt that automatically loosens/tightens. Technology trumps dieting.
I must read too many old-timey hobo comics. At first, I thought you were outside, and yelling over a Hogan’s Alley type fence. It didn’t make a lot of sense that way.
Love it! Dinner pants!
Men’s dress pants often have double buttons or a button and a clasp. I could never figure it out. I guess the extra button is for security, in case the first one pops off or something like that. It’s not a fashion thing, because the button is usually on the inside and if it wasn’t it would be covered by a belt. So, what is the second button for?
Oh, cloth belts with a “military” buckle are great, because they don’t have holes and you can just slide them into a looser position very discretely. Just a thought.
Sounds like a great invention, were it to exist. Here’s how I handle “pants after eating situation”: wear a belt, and a top (shirt/blouse) long enough to cover the pant down to the bottom of the zipper area.
Eat to your hearts content. After eating, unzip, loosen belt to comfortable notch, and make sure shirt/blouse covers open zipper area, and carry on about your business of being a fun person to have a meal with.
No one will ever know; wink!
Fun! My mom used to wear “fat pants” that she’d proudly unbutton during a meal.
As an FYI, the second word balloon has two “ands” (“and and I hated myself”). I don’t think it’s intentional, since there’d usually be more punctuation to indicate stammering or repeated text to show that the writer meant to do that… but I don’t know what all the cool kids are doing with their dialogue nowadays.
(Can you tell I’m a professional editor by day?)
Dunno where I heard this, but it seems to me Mariah Carey used to wear her jeans with the waistband cut off prentending to launch a new style, while it was just a fancy solution to post-dinner-bloating.
…
God, I’m embarrassed by this comment. But still. Fun fact ! (o/
i’d wear dinner pants at every meal without discrimination. breakfastlunchdinner pants.
Those pants exist: http://www.betabrand.com/betapants/gluttony-pants.html
I used to have Dinner Pants I wore especially for big fancy meals. Unfortunately, I was stricken from quite a few guest lists when my hosts figured out that my Dinner Pants were just borrowed from my Birthday Suit. Yes, I’m well aware of how retarded this joke is.
Is the excessive amount of textual clarification an indication of new meds?
What do they have you on now, Julia?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall
I thought you didn’t have healthcare.
FUCK YOU I’M HIGH ON LIFE >(
thats supposed to be an angry face but it looks more like a fart, which is more than that comment deserved
Guys have had these for years. We’ve just been keeping it a secret.
One alternative to [dinner pants] would be, the product: pajama jeans.
Pajama Jeans look like, to me, sweatpants that have been painted or decorated, to look like [actual jeans].
Gee, how awful that you were profoundly disappointed by the storm. Too bad your apartment wasn’t flooded and all your shit wasn’t ruined, like what happened to a lot of other people in Brooklyn. Maybe think twice about documenting it like a sulky teenager just because it didn’t affect you directly. Dick.
don’t worry, I will! on monday! don’t forget to tune in!
Dear YoureASelfAbsorbedDick, or maybe I can call you Dick, since I see you signed your stormy message, using the short form, I, also was disappointed by the storm.
Not sure having my apartment flooded would have cheered me up. But, I was expecting something dramatic after all the dire predictions. Nothing much happened here, but that’s probably because I live in Toronto.
But what’s this? Julia will be posting something new on Monday! I will be tuning in.
Julia, these are even better than dinner pants: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fALV4M_LiEQ
I’m sorry, nothing generates more cabin fever than your photos of “abandoned whore house.” Now that’s an indy album name fo sho.
I needs me some dinner pants…
Candy Land isn’t a real, live game? Or do you mean wishing it were a game less lame?
It’s actually a great and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.