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January 20, 2011

Dear Sir,

I want to eat dees nuts. How many of dees nuts can I eat before I get sick?

Dear Madame,
In most cultures, the excessive consumption of arachais hypogaea is encouraged, unless you have a severe allergy or loose, fetid bowels. The health benefits of the ostensibly trifling legume are many, such as protein, antioxidants and numerous essential vitamins. I proffer to you the marvelous concoction of the noted bean in amalgamation with aggregate fruits -blackberries, blueberries, and perhaps most beloved, strawberries- atop baked crustum. This is known in layman’s terms as a “peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” In summation, you can never eat too many of dees nuts.
Penelope Boner